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Both the French and the Dutch have voted down
the European Union Constitution. Perhaps they
actually tried to read it. Here's a typical
paragraph:
Under the principle of
subsidiarity, in areas which do not fall within
its exclusive competence, the Union shall act
only if and insofar as the objectives of the
proposed action cannot be sufficiently achieved
by the Member States, either at central level or
at regional and local level, but can rather, by
reason of the scale or effects of the proposed
action, be better achieved at Union level. The
institutions of the Union shall apply the
principle of subsidiarity as laid down in the
Protocol on the application of the principles of
subsidiarity and proportionality. National
Parliaments shall ensure compliance with that
principle in accordance with the procedure set
out in that Protocol.
Compare the Tenth Amendment
in our Bill of Rights:
The powers not delegated to
the United States by the Constitution, nor
prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to
the States respectively, or to the people.
William DuBay of Impact
Information (a fellow plain-language crusader)
has pointed out the difference between our
Constitution and theirs:
The U.S. Constitution
contains 4,000 words in 11 pages and seven
articles, all written at a democratic 9th-grade
level.
The European Constitution is
a badly organized, 855-page, 156,447-word
document written at the 16th-grade level. The
first and most important part is missing a
title. Some of the 465 articles ended up in the
wrong sections.
Of course, we cannot lord it
over the Europeans too much, because our lawyers
usually write too many words. And most of our
statutes are awful. But considering the drafters
of the two constitutions, we had the better
group.
More Examples
In doing some research about
William Howard Taft, I found perhaps the most
egregious violation of my Rule 8 - Write Short
Paragraphs. In one 6th Circuit opinion, Judge
Taft wrote a 10-page paragraph! It contains
1,947 words and 66 sentences - about twice the
size of this article in one paragraph. The
average sentence length is 30 words, versus a
goal of 18; and it's 28 percent passive, versus
18 percent - see the 1818 Rule. And in another
writing gem, in the Supreme Court no less, he
was able to construct a 327-word sentence:
In his amended bill the
complainant averred that he deraigned his title
from one Mehaley Watson, a Creek citizen, to
whom was allotted the land in question, that a
patent was issued in her name signed by the
principal chief of the Creek Nation and approved
by the Secretary of the Interior, that she died
in October, 1908, before the issue of the patent
in March, 1909, that she was an illegitimate
child of the defendant Hannah C. Barnett, a
Creek of the full blood, who was her heir and
inherited the land in question, that on March
22, 1909, in consideration of $500, the mother
executed and delivered a warranty deed for the
tract to one B. O. Sims, that on the same day
the deed to Sims was approved by the County
Court of Hughes County, Oklahoma, the court
having jurisdiction to settle the estate of
Mehaley Watson deceased, that Sims conveyed to
Brannan, that Brannan conveyed to Berrian and
others from whom by some eleven mesne
conveyances, the details of which were set out
in the bill, the land was conveyed, in March,
1913, to one R. S. Litchfield, that, the
question then having arisen whether Mehaley
Watson was not a resident of Okfuskee County,
instead of Hughes County, when she died, Mrs.
Barnett and her husband filed their petition in
the County Court of Okfuskee County asking
approval of her deed of March, 1909, to B. O.
Sims, and obtained the approval of that court
accordingly in consideration of $2000 paid her
by Litchfield; that Sims on the same day made
and delivered a quitclaim deed of the land to
Litchfield, that, by several mesne conveyances
set forth, the tract became ultimately vested in
the complainant, and that complainant in May,
1914, leased the land to the Prairie Oil and Gas
Company for oil and gas purposes, which entered
upon the land and was operating wells thereon
and paying complainant rentals and royalties.
And that was all too typical
of a stilted, mind-numbing style. But Taft was
not alone - many of his fellow judges wrote as
badly. Perhaps we have progressed some in the
last century or two. But we still have a long
way to go.
Three or four sentences are
usually enough for a paragraph; there is no set
rule. But never write a paragraph of more than
one double-spaced page, and very seldom that
long.
Readability
Several people have asked
me how I determine the readability statistics
that I list at the end of most columns. Open
Spellcheck and look at the bottom of the screen
for Options. Click on that and check "show
readability statistics" - it's the very
last box on that screen. While you're there,
look at the other settings and tune them to your
preferences.
Readability statistics for
this column: 7.5 words per sentence, 0 percent
passive voice, readability score 62. (Remember
the 1818 Rule - no more than an average of 18
words per sentence and 18 percent passive-voice
sentences.) That's for my text only. Taft's
statistics: 327 words per sentence, 0 percent
passive voice, readability score 0.
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