|
We
lawyers have a talent for stating the obvious.
We fill our documents with self-evident drivel.
Not only does this take up space, but it's part
of the mind-numbing legal prose that too often
clogs our writing.
The most common sentence in appellate briefs
goes something like this: "Appellant has
filed a timely appeal, and this case is now
before this court for consideration."
Really? I wouldn't have known that otherwise -
maybe I'd have thought that the briefs
materialized on my desk for no apparent reason.
One judge
always put that sentence in opinions. Someone
asked him once why he did it - and his reply was
that, since the appellants usually lose, he
wanted to throw them a bone. "Well, you
lost. But you are such a good lawyer that you
managed to file the appeal on time."
Surely, many lawyers took great solace from this
sentence.
This is real. The names have been changed:
Procedural
Posture:On October 7, 2002, the Bovine County
Grand Jury indicted appellant, Quandre Boone, on
one count of possession of crack cocaine in
violation of R.C. 2925.11, one count of carrying
a concealed weapon in violation of R.C. 2923.12,
and one count of possession of marijuana in
violation of R.C. 2925.11.
On December 3, 2002, appellant filed a motion
to suppress, claiming an unreasonable stop and
search. A hearing was held on December 23, 2003.
By judgment entry filed December 27, 2002, the
trial court denied said motion.
On January 3, 2003, appellant pled no contest
to the charges. By judgment entry filed May 13,
2003, the trial court sentenced appellant to a
total term of six months in prison.
Appellant filed a timely appeal, and this
matter is now before this court for
consideration.
(This is 134 words signifying little.)
This would have been sufficient:
Procedural Posture:
Boone was indicted for (1) possession of
crack cocaine, (2) carrying a concealed weapon,
and (3) possession of marijuana.
Boone moved to suppress evidence, claiming an
unreasonable stop and search. The trial court
denied the motion. Boone pleaded no contest to
the charges and was sentenced to six months in
prison.
(This is 51 words.)
The Fix:
You will have already identified the
defendant-appellant in your opening statement of
the case, so only the name is used.
-
"One count" is implied.
-
The statute numbers are irrelevant if only
the search is contested. You can include
them later if necessary.
-
Use moved, not filed a motion.
-
-
The dates are unimportant and distracting -
never use an exact date unless it is important
in the case.
-
Said is a banned word in this
version.
Readability:
Readability Statistics for this column (my text only):
3 words per sentence, 9 percent passive voice,
grade level 8. (Remember the 1818 Rule - no
more than an average of 18 words per sentence
and 18 percent passive-voice sentences.)
____________________________________
Mark Painter has served
as a judge on the Ohio
First District Court of Appeals for 10 years, after 13
years on the Hamilton County Municipal Court. He has
served as an Adjunct Professor at the University of
Cincinnati College of Law since 1990. Judge
Painter is the author
of five books, including The Legal Writer: 40 Rules
for the Art of Legal Writing. The third edition of
that book was published in May. It is available from http://books.lawyersweekly.com.
Judge Painter
has given dozens of seminars on legal writing and will
give his six-hour legal writing seminar in December
2005 in Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, and Toledo,
Ohio. Contact him through his website, www.judgepainter.org.
|
