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Previous columns have banned pursuant
to, such, said (meaning the),
provided that, however (to start a
sentence), clear, in order to, by
means of, infra, and/or (it
almost never is), and on or about. This
column adds some more to the list:
* There is no reason
Using there words is a
lawyerism. Ban these words: therein, thereof,
theretofore, thereunder, and any
more that pop up.
* Don't go here
Likewise, never use hereafter,
hereinafter, herewith, hereby,
and hereinabove. You can simply drop the here
or eliminate the word entirely.
* Where are we at
Where words are banned
for the same reason: they are unnecessary and
distracting. Kill whereby, wherefore,
whereof, and especially the legal whereas.
* Me, myself, and I
Pronouns such as herself,
himself, and myself are too often misused. The
case will be tried by Mary Smith and myself is
simply wrong. Nothing is wrong with the
two-letter me. And the sentence makes the
writer seem pretentious. Even worse: The case
will be tried by myself. That construction
is not only grammatically wrong, it can be
misleading - does it emphasize that I am trying
the case alone?
These pronouns are only used
intensively - as in I, myself, will meet with
the president - or reflexively, as in I
shot myself in the foot. The former emphasizes
the actor; the latter refers back to
the actor. Just don't ever use myself
for me.
* In can be out
We have already banned in
order to. The in order adds no
meaning - to is fine. The same theory
applies to many other in phrases: in
punishment for, in payment for, in
order that. But many other in phases
can easily be simplified:
in the event of = if
in advance of = before
in spite of = despite
in opposition to = against
in preference to = over
There are other substitutes for each, but you
get the idea.
* It's not necessary
Many lawyerisms begin with it.
Especially when starting a sentence, it
signifies a weak construction, often containing
a nominalization - taking a perfectly good verb
and turning it into a noun.
Some phrases that can simply
be deleted from the sentence, making it stronger
and more direct:
It is important to note
... If it's important, the reader will get
that.
It is significant
.... Same.
It should be remembered
... You're telling the readers that they are
so stupid they don't remember what you said a
few paragraphs ago?
It is ... Strike it
and you will have a better sentence.
Some it phrases can
easily be translated:
It has come to my
attention ... How about I understand
or I have learned?
It is apparent that
... You'll save words and add meaning by using apparently
or evidently.
Robert Hartwell Fiske, editor
of the online journal Vocabula Review (www.vocabula.com),
has a handy book called The Dictionary of
Concise Writing, which has 10,000 entries
suggesting how to fix wordy phrases. It can be
found at www.marionstreetpress.com and
amazon.com.
Readability
I always show the readability
scores for the column. Statistics for this
column: 13 words per sentence, 13% passive
voice, and grade level 8.2, though the numbers
are skewed because of the bad examples.
____________________________________
Mark
Painter has served as
a judge on the Ohio First District Court of Appeals
for 11 years, after 13 years on the Hamilton County
Municipal Court. He has taught as an Adjunct Professor
at the University of Cincinnati College of Law since
1990. Judge Painter is
the author of five books, including The Legal Writer:
40 Rules for the Art of Legal Writing. The third
edition of that book was published in 2005. The rules
cited in this column are from that book, and it is
available from http://books.lawyersweekly.com.
Judge Painter has
given dozens of seminars on legal writing. Contact him
through his website, www.judgepainter.org.
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